Starting at the Beginning; entering the world of online dating.

Image taken from Company.co.uk

Earlier this year, as I mentioned previously, I was cajoled by well-meaning friends into joining some online dating sites. At first I joined mysinglefriend.com, but the sheer size and scale of it put me off slightly; I just didn't get any dates there. It seems the majority of people don't pay for their accounts, and thus can't reply to your beautifully crafted messages... ever. Isn't that so annoying? At first I thought it was because I was doing something terribly wrong, until I realised that everyone seems to be there passively. Most people have a fear of paying for dating sites (me included) as it feels a bit like 10 degrees left of prostitution. Right? Or is that just me? Anyway. I prefer dating sites to be free, or at least with a hefty free joining period... even though you do get the weirdos on the free ones. It's a tough call. I may dip back into paying sites in the near future.

So, having no luck on mysinglefriend (despite my friend's wonderful description of me), the bountiful sphere of twitter (using my real-life account, which you cannot know, or I will have to kill you) pointed me to a few more boutique-style sites, and one particular caught my eye - Tastebuds.com

If you're not on Tastebuds, it works quite simply. It's linked to your last.fm account (you can use it without one though) and you just list all your favourite bands/musicians, as well as the standard 'about me' stuff. Then not only do you search for the type of person (age, height, smoker, bla bla bla) you're looking for, you also see who matches your music tastes. Simple, right? I've long held the belief that it's impossible to date someone who you don't connect to musically, even on a few levels. No matter how hot you are, if you think the epitomé of musical genius is N Dubz, we ain't going anywhere.

The Wrong Housemate:

After a few false starts (one guy messaged me calling me 'sweet cheeks'.  I mean, come on. This is not the 1950s. And my cheeks aren't that sweet. They're quite fleshy.) I ended up chatting to this guy called Mark*. Mark was hot. He seemed nice. I had actually seen him on mysinglefriend too, which led me to message him saying 'hey, I saw you on MSF too. Whaddya know?' Kind of thing. Turns out most people are on most sites, but that was cool. So we got chatting, and he mentioned that they were doing a 'Tastebuds takes back Valentine's' night at Zizzi's, which looked ace. A tenner for free cava and nibblys, and chance to meet other members. Ace, I said, I'll see you there.

Looking back, he was possibly just being friendly, as it took him a few weeks to reply to some of my messages, and he kind of skirted the question of going for a a drink. So yeah... kind of not interested, but I cleverly ignored that and plunged in headfirst. When I say cleverly, I mean stupidly.

At the event itself, I went with a friend from work (who was a veteran in the arena of online dating) and we had a lot of fun actually. Although it was kind of 80/20 girls to boys. I spotted Mark early on (fitter in real life, wahey) but was way too scared to talk to him. You must know - I'm generally a confident person, until it comes to approaching boys, then I turn into a jelly mess. I'm getting better though. But yeah, I didn't approach him. Suddenly, I was approached by another guy. Oh well, I thought, I'll chat to this dude for a bit, then go and find Mark.

This guy, Paul* we'll call him, was lovely but I just wasn't attracted to him. At all. However, bless him, he was really trying, so when he asked for my number... I basically said yes. WHY. I was too nice, and too drunk to think properly about consequences or to let him down so I just thought I'd take his number then forget about him. I should have just said I was interested in someone else. Because I was! Fail. Anyway, Paul got my number. A few sentences later and I asked what made him join Tastebuds? 'Oh, my housemate joined so I did too, for a laugh.' And he motioned over to Mark, who was standing close by. Er... what. You mean... fit Mark? Mark is your housemate?

'Yes.' Shit.

NOW WHAT. I can't very well say 'excuse me while I ditch you for your friend' but that was essentially my plan. In the end, I sat back down with my friend (in an attempt to unceremoniously ditch Paul) and re-hone on Mark. Paul sat with us. Bollocks. But then... aha! Mark sat with us too! Yays. I spent the rest of the evening getting wasted on cava and shuffling nearer to Mark. As we were leaving, I finally plucked up the courage to ask Mark for his number. It went like this:

"So... just wondering if I can have your number?"
"I don't think that's really a good idea." And looks pointedly at Paul.
Me: *scurries/runs away like my life depends on it*

Literally scooted out that restaurant as fast as I could. SO embarrassing. I think I even did the face in hands thing as I ran away.

I can only assume that Mark didn't tell Paul I asked for his number (whereas Paul must have told Mark, judging by his parting comment) because Paul proceeded to text me a few times. As I stated earlier, I'm a nice person (read: cowardly) so I didn't want to lead him on... but wasn't entirely sure how to say 'Yeah, I fancy your housemate, actually.'

But, he only seemed to text me at 3am on a saturday morning. Literally. It got a bit annoying, because he was clearly only texting when he was drunk. Awkwardness all round! In the end, I called him up on it, asking why he only text at that time? He didn't really answer. Eventually, he asked me out, and I was annoyed at his late-night texts waking me up so I just said, look, actually I quite like Mark. Sorry.

I don't think he replied to that. Mark, surprisingly, never replied to the last, grovelling, sorry-I-asked-your-friend-for-his-number message I sent him either.

And the moral of the story is: Don't give your number to the friend of the guy you actually like. It *might* give the wrong impression that you're actually a bitch.