The Story of a Single Girl; or, how this blog came to be.

So. I've been umming and ahhing about whether to start this blog for a long time. A few of my friends were all in favour of the whole anonymous blog thing - I have some amusing stories that they agree need to be set on the world. These will come, never fear. But, at the same time, I'm quite a busy girl. I already have my own website/blog (it's not huge, it's not famous, it's often neglected, but I won't share it as I obvs want to remain anonymous!), a full time job, a busy social life, and actual dating to fit in, let alone writing about the actual dating.

However. I've always felt that writing was very cathartic to my woes, and it's quite nice to start something new, fresh, secret and exciting to channel my thoughts into. The anonymous thing is quite exciting (I feel like I have a big secret!), and it also means there's less pressure, and no preconceptions that I feel I should conform to when writing. If I wasn't a graphic designer/creative, I probably would have gone into the writing/journalism side of things anyway. In short, words are good to me. I'm not putting any restrictions on myself; I will blog as and when something exciting happens. That might mean I blog 3 times a week, it might mean there is radio silence for a month. Never fear. I'm probably just swearing off men for a while.

The downside of trying to keep this anonymous is that while most people like me who date will share very similar experiences, anyone who knows me in my 'real life' and stumbles upon this blog may very easily work out who this is. We'll see. Hopefully they are nice and don't rumble me in public. I want to be anonymous more for the privacy of the people I date/have dated/been with, rather than myself.

Here's your backstory about Single Girl:

I've been single for just over 4 years. Christ, I think to myself, nearly every day, that's a heck of a long time. Then I do that mental chalkboard wipe thing and plaster a smile on.
My last relationship ended very badly, in 2007. Very very badly. We were together for about 2 years, and when he broke up with me, out of the blue, he admitted he had cheated on me over the past year with 3 different women. (I later wondered if this number was actually higher, but realised that wasn't actually the point...)
It took me a good year to get over it. Sometimes I'm not entirely sure if I ever will get over it, entirely. First love and all. I struggled with lots of dark things, and being at Uni didn't really help some of those dark things, but in other ways, being at Uni was the best place to be. But in the end, I came through, and was happy again.
Then I fell into the trap of sleeping with one of my closest male friends. Let's call him Edward. At first it was just fun and he helped me get over my ex, (we'll call my ex Robert) but I quickly started falling for him and he... didn't reciprocate. In fact he carried sleeping around with other women (he was one of those) and it all got very very messy. In the end, I told him that I loved him (fail) while in bed with him (more fail) and he said he 'didn't want a relationship.'

1 month later he was in a relationship. Not with me.

Woe. Despair. Crumble. Funnily enough, we still talk every so often, as friends. I'm not sure I ever let on how much that hurt me, to his face anyway. I see his girlfriend when I see him. She's lovely, and I don't hate her at all. (OK maybe I hate her a bit. But for completley unfounded reasons. The best girl won and all that.) This was just under 3 years ago.. and since then I've graduated, moved back in with my parents for a year, finally got a job in London, moved out of home again to London, started dating in London. Incidentally, Edward and girlfriend also moved to London at around the same time. So yeah, I still see him very rarely. It's difficult not to want to see him more. Not because I still love him (I don't) but because... we had a very close bond, a different bond to anyone else I've known, make or female. We are, to be clichéd, on the same wavelength. I don't think he agrees.
Tricky times, all not very conducive to finding a boy-type.

At the beginning of this year, 2011, my new years resolution was to 'not be single by this time next year.' A brave choice, but 10 months later, I'm still single. I signed up to a few online dating places, and have had sporadic dates, but pretty much all disastrous. This is my last attempt at getting some fun out of my situation, and taking my mind off the ever-increasing thoughts that I may die a cat lady. (I don't own any cats. Yet.)

I'm not a stunning girl (although have been told I am, which is nice, but I'm sure that's only in the right light with the right mascara) but neither am I a troll. I'm a middle of the road, averagely pretty, hourglass-y figured (not fat, not thin, booby, waisty, bummy) mid-20s type who is super bored of being single and really just wants to find a nice, engaging guy to visit galleries with, go to gigs, complain about the tube with, wander round local cafes and have lots and lots of sex with. How hard can it be?!

So this is my story of trying to find him. I hope you like it. It's all true.